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| What do you call Batman and Robbin run over? |
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Flatman and Ribbon.
Sent by Matias
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| Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter... |
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Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?"
Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend,
he looks much worse".
Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: "My God,
you look terrible."
Dodi replies: "This is nothing. Wait till you see my driver."
Half an hour later some bones and flesh move slowly to the Gates,
and St. Peter says: "So you're the driver?"
"No, I'm Mother Theresa.
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
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| What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick? |
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Hugh Grant.
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| Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect 10? |
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Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
Two 5 year olds.
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| What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana? |
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One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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| What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? |
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Q. ?
A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.
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On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol
station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in
a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "!"
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| Arnold Swartzeneger and Sylvester Stallone are making... |
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movie about the lives of the great composers.
Stallone says "I want to be Mozart."
Swartzeneger says: "In that case... I'll be Bach."
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| What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? |
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Q: ?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....
the other is used to carry groceries.
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