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| At lunch time, sit in your parked car... |
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sunglasses on and point a
hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
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| Does the person that you want to get even with drink red wine? |
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? If so, have
I got one for you! Get yourself some Neutral Red, a water soluble,
crystalline red dye. Mix some into the persons wine and wait for them to
take a leak. (Nuetral Red comes out as red as it goes in, and people have
a tendancy to get really nervous when they start peeing what they think is
blood!
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This joke has been done 50 (yes, 50) years ago by my father-in-law.
First, a little background:
He lived in a small village, north-west of Quebec City along the St-Laurent
river. In those days, toilets were located outside the house in what
we call in good ol' french canadian 'becosse', from 'back house' I think.
These are a little wood shack with no floor over a hole in the ground
where you ... You can guess.
Now, for the joke:
He and a friend were thrown out of a party by the doorman.
When it was really dark,, the doorman went to investigate what was
knocking at the window. They had suspended a rock to the window
frame so it hung right it the middle and tied another string
to the rock and hid behind the 'becosse' where they pulled
that second string to make the rock knock in the window.
That's an old trick. The doorman wouldn't fall for that one. So
he followed the second string in the dark
and soon concluded that they were hidding behind the 'becosse'.
He ran toward the merel read joke
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One joke that we did in residence was the ,
I don't quite know why it is called that. Anyway..
The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket
(we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with
water. Take a paper bag and set it on fire, toss it under the door into the
stall. Yell fire as everyone tosses the water into the stall. Needless to say
the fire as well as the victim get very wet.
This one fellow in the house was hit a number of times and took to relieving
himself in other locals. We followed him a couple of times and nailed him
in many parts of the residence.
Later of course we conspired with our victim to get back at the
original instigator of the drill. The guy in the stall had a bucket of water,
and when the the instigator tossed the bag in we all hit him.
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A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn't
have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back
to their new apartment after the wedding.
The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing
practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy,
and the third a dentist.
They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married
friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed
so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The
ordinary guy decided to short sheet the bed, so that when they got
into it their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled
and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do.
A week later the 3 friends all received letters in the mail. "Dear
friends, we didn't mind the fact that when we got into bed, the
bed collapsed, or the guy that short sheeted it, but I'm gonna kill
the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!"
read joke
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In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination
you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack
between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by
the hinges; across the width of the door from the doorknob...) You need an
egg (NOT hard-boiled), and a wood floor (you don't want the egg cracking on
carpeting, do you??). Now, have your victim get on the opposite side of
the door from you, and put 2 fingers through the door. Hand him the egg,
in those two fingers. Working with him, trade the egg back and forth a
couple of times, moving UP the door frame. After you have his confidence,
leave. He will be trapped there, holding this egg by two fingers through
the door. If he lets go and nobody takes the egg, it will crash to the
floor. Best to do in the person's own room.
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This one hasn't come up despite the presence of UCLA on the net. I'm
led to the sad conclusion that the tradition has died.
In the mid '70s, just before it was overrun by fanatic Dungeons \&
Dragons (tm) players, the was host to a long series
of "glitter traps." Example: joke subject sits at a desk, pulls out a
drawer. A string runs from the back of the drawer, up the wall, into
the false ceiling, over to a spot directly over the subject's head,
where it triggers the trap: a mousetrap whose action snaps a card away
from its position covering a funnel, releasing a handful of glitter,
which flows down the funnel, through its spout, through a hole in the
ceiling acoustic tile, onto the subject. It was wonderful to watch: a
muffled snapping noise, a quiet "chuff," and the slow, glittery descent
of a cloud of brightly colored dust, to settle over the head and
shoulders of a club member who by now has assumed an expression of
appreciative resignation.
Another, more short-lived ploy wa read joke
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We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag
races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat,
the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as
many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a
state patrol car, but that's another story). Anyway, my brother in
law, who is a cruiser, would occasionally borrow this car and drive it
down to the cruising spots. Needless to say, when they saw him coming
there was brief but furious activity. He finally had to stop doing
this because it made his friends so mad.
People hate to pass us on the freeway too. It is not unusual to see
some Camaro or Porche come zipping along through traffic until he is
about 2 car lengths behind us, then decelerate to a perfect 55.00 miles
per hour. It takes him about 10 seconds to look us over, decide we
aren't in uniform, notice that we don't have state license plates, and
make up his mind. He will then typiclaly test how read joke
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They had a 'witchy' old lady next door that was constantly complaining
about everything and everyone in the neighborhood. After one really good
round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, my buddies
planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought.
Juvenile as we all were, they planned to write some dirty words in her
meticulously-groomed front lawn with some kind of powder that would stand
out. The only thing they could find was some Ortho Super-Gro Lawn Food
(white powdery stuff). They wrote the message in the dead of night, and
next morning it was bold and white for the world to see.
The 'kicker' came after. She came out, saw the graffiti, and immediately
grabbed a hose and WATERED IT OFF!
To this day, those sections of grass are just a little bit greener than
everything around them, and the words can STILL be read!
This reminds me of a story that a former roommate related to me. In college
he and a group of friends got revenge on read joke
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This reminds me of a similar stunt we used to enjoy at the dining hall
in my undergrad days. The food service used opaque plastic salt and
pepper shakers with pop-off tops that could be pried off with a knife
blade if you were persistent enough.
PREPARATION (in a restroom nearby): (1) Empty salt ( or pepper) from a
previously 'acquired' container and fill about 1/3 full with
concentrated lemon juice. (2) Place a thin tissue across the opening,
poke it down a bit to form a depression, and fill the depression with
about a teaspoon of baking soda. (3) Cover (from the inside) the
holes of the top with tape of the appropriate color. (4) Replace top
on container and trim visible tissue from around the top.
Carry the device to dining hall (upright and as stable as is
possible... for your own sake).
After discretely placing the shaker on your table (only place it near
to you... see caveat \#1 below), observe the next person to use the
salt (pepper). (S)He will shake lightly at firs read joke
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