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| Funky Zone Funny Pictures - Search Results |
| what men would do if they had a vagina for a day |
In category: Adult jokes |
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot. read joke
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Why did the blonde cross the road?
I don't know.
Neither did he. read joke
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The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.
Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner.
When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection. Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion.
Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this time she had again been joined by a crowd of people.
Tweeeeeeeet! "Okay, pedestrians!"
The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed put. She looked at her watch and tapped her foot but never budged from the sidewalk.
Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the third time, the blonde shouted acro read joke
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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'May I borrow a highlighter?'
2. Say, 'Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.'
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, 'Damn, this water's cold.'
5. Drop a marble and say, 'Oh shit! My glass eye!'
6. Say, 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, 'Now how did that get there?'
9. Say, 'Humus. Reminds me of humus.'
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, 'Whoa! Easy boy!'
11. Say, 'Interesting.. more floaters than sinkers.'
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your read joke
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Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Madonna
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henry Youngman
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
Rita Rudner
This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'
Judy Tenuta
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Jean Kerr
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
Tim Allen
I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
Gwyneth Paltrow read joke
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1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.
2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. read joke
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Yo mamma's cross-eyed, she threw a rock at the ground and missed! read joke
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Yo mama is so ugly, her incubator was tinted.
Yo mama is so ugly, puts face in cookie dough to make gorilla cookies.
yo mama is so fat, she mainlines porkchops.
Yo mama is so fat, she sweats BBQ sauce.
Yo mama is so fat, she don't wear Daisey Dukes, she wears Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama is so fat, looks like she has a pack of hot dogs on her neck.
Yo mama is so cross eyed, when she cries, tears go down her back.
Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
Yo mama is so ugly, she has to wear a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
yo mama is so cross eyed, she looks out the front door and sees the back yard.
Yo mama is so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket. read joke
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Yo mamma's cross-eyed, she threw a rock at the ground and missed! read joke
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Yo mama is so ugly, her incubator was tinted.
Yo mama is so ugly, puts face in cookie dough to make gorilla cookies.
yo mama is so fat, she mainlines porkchops.
Yo mama is so fat, she sweats BBQ sauce.
Yo mama is so fat, she don't wear Daisey Dukes, she wears Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama is so fat, looks like she has a pack of hot dogs on her neck.
Yo mama is so cross eyed, when she cries, tears go down her back.
Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
Yo mama is so ugly, she has to wear a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
yo mama is so cross eyed, she looks out the front door and sees the back yard.
Yo mama is so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket. read joke
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