|
|
|
| Funky Zone Funny Pictures - Search Results |
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Jew, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?" read joke
|
|
|
|
|
| Redneck At The Bar |
In category: Redneck |
A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in.
With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slowly.
He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.
He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.
The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"
The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, to read joke
|
|
|
|
|
| An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing... |
In category: Blonde jokes |
nstruction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If
I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump
off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I get
burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a
burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna
and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could
have given him tacos or enchiladas! I did read joke
|
|
|
|
|
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol
station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in
a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "!"
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with
tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was
already homesick.
"No," replied McAteer. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out," said the Irishman.
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Cock fights |
In category: Ethnic |
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present?
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins.
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
| The three survivors of the shipwreck... |
In category: Ethnic |
re being driven mad by hunger.
The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could
row the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.
The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last
that long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that
one of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.
The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he
would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.
After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumped
overboard and sank without trace.
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
| Irish math |
In category: Ethnic |
There's these four Irishmen in a bar, all drinking Guinness. One of them
is looking rather puzzled, so another turns to him and asks him what's the
matter.
1st Irishman: Well, I was just trying to remember what 2 plus 2 is.
2nd Irishman: Oh, that's easy, it's 147.
1st Irishman: No no no, that can't be right. How about you, Fergus, do you
know what 2 plus 2 is?
3rd Irishman: Hmmm ... could it be Wednesday, perhaps?
1st Irishman: No no no, that doesn't sound right either. How about you
Pat, do you know?
4th Irishman: Simple, the answer is 4.
1st Irishman: Of course! How did you work it out?!
4th Irishman: Aha, that's where brains come in! I subtracted 147 from
Wednesday!
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
| What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill... |
In category: Ethnic |
Q: mself by
.swallowing 100 pain killers?
A: After two he began to feel better.
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
| An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting... |
In category: Ethnic |
a beach
notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman
approaches her and says 'Have you ever been kissed?' No
says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. after a
while the Scotchman approaches her and says 'Have you ever
been fondled?'. She says no and he fondles her, much to her
delight. After onother while the irishman approaces her
and asks 'Have you ever been fucked?. she says no. 'Well
you are fucked now because the tide's gone out.
read joke
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Pages : 1
»
2
|
|
|
|
|